If your sin is small then your Savior will be small also.
But if your sin is great, then your Savior must be great.
– Charles Spurgeon
When I was growing up in church I heard this quote once and
it hooked onto me, but not in the right way. You see, growing up in an amazing
Christian family kept me walking in the right with only “small” sins that
persisted in me. Then, after giving my life to Jesus at a young age, I tried to
separate myself from things that entangled, at least the things that were big.
My old friends eventually began to party and do all sorts of stuff while I kept
back and followed Jesus. I had struggled at times wondering why I wasn’t as in
love with Jesus as I thought I should be and then I found this quote that
justified my feelings. I didn’t love Jesus as much as some because my sin was
small. I would meet people who gave their lives to Jesus who were set free from
lives of drugs, alcoholism, adultery, etc and their love for Jesus was greater
and more passionate than mine and it’s because they were freed from more sin.
I used to get angry with God almost wishing that I had
sinned more so that I could have loved Him more. How could God expect me to
love Him as much as these other people? I was the good kid growing up! He
didn’t have to work as hard for me. What little I knew. My whole mindset and
understanding of this quote was completely wrong.
Years later I have grown in deeper and stronger intimacy
with the Lord. Throughout college, with the help of an amazing community at
Antioch, my love for Jesus has grown and grown. My hatred towards sin has
increased. The amount of times I am disobedient grows smaller and smaller. The
“size” of my sins are smaller. Yet, with all of this becoming further from sin
I am loving Jesus more. That doesn’t follow the formula of the quote I hated
for so long! So what happened?
I learned that the size of my sin is not measured by the
standards of the world but rather the
size of my sin is measured by God’s holiness. The more I understand how
holy God is, the more I understand how big my sin is. By the world’s standards
my sin actually decreased, but the more I perceived God’s holiness the worse my
sins looked. Before bad actions were a big sin and bad thoughts were just
little sins (if I considered them sin at all). Now, even one errant thought can
bring me to my knees in repentance. The little things have now become the
frontlines of the battle.
This is why Paul calls himself the “worst of sinners” (1
Timothy 1:15b). From the world’s perspective Paul would have been called the
greatest of saints! He gave up his life and started churches all over the
world. Yet he calls himself the worst of sinners. Why? Because he understood
God’s holiness. The more and more he went after Jesus and His Gospel, he grew
closer to Jesus, and the closer he got the more he could see His holiness.
We always hear in church about the fear of the Lord, but to
be honest most people (at least I didn’t for a long time) probably don’t really
know what that means. They may think of it as fearing hell so they call for
grace while clinging to their sin. The fear of the Lord understands how holy
God is and how much He hates sin. Too many in the church today have a small
savior. We do not believe that the little things are sins. A joking yet rude
comment, if it makes enough people laugh, isn’t a sin. Following the girl who
walks by with my eyes and lustful heart isn’t a sin. Keeping every dime I own
for myself is not greedy but frugal. We justify our sin and believe we are
holy.
We have numbed ourselves and have taken the world’s
guidelines for morality and have used it for our own guidelines for sin. This
is not meant to be an attack, but rather a challenge for each and every one of
us. A challenge to look at God and discover just how holy He is. A challenge to
take a step ahead of the world and show how the church isn’t just a place to
make people act moral, it’s a place where people look like Jesus which far
exceeds simple morality.
So let’s take a step back and look at everything we do with
the lense of Jesus. Let us pursue His presence and get a greater understanding
of His holiness. When we worship, study the word, spend time in community, we
begin to get a greater understanding of God’s character and thus His holiness. Let us have a big Savior. Let’s
ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us our sin and help us overcome it!
As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires
you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so
be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." – 1
Peter 1:14-16